Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Baby Park Is the Worst Mario Kart Level Ever

Mario Kart Double Dash was an alright game. It didn't gel too well with me, however. I mean, I played it, but you know, it was never fucking sweet. Sure, it had some cool ideas (character specific powerups being the best), but I didn't like some of them. The two people on one kart thing? I could really take it or leave it. I would rather just be able to hold two items than have two characters.

But the lack of hopping with the R button. Wow, that really ruined the game for me. I could never master the powerslide; I'm sure I could've had I gave it enough time and effort, but I never really cared about it because I didn't like the controls too much. Which is sad, because I love the controller (Let it be said: the Nintendo Gamecube controller is the most comfortable video game controller ever made, and I mean ever), but without hopping the game seemed wonky to me.

And then there's Baby Park. Which is really the shittiest Mario Kart track ever. First of all, its a short track, consisting of just two turns. There is a lot of item boxes, and so it seems the whole point of the level is for it to be a big battle.

Fuck that.

I don't care what anyone says; they are wrong. Baby Park sucks. If you have ever bitched about Blue Shells taking "skilled" play away from Mario Kart and adding to its "random" winners, then you cannot, CANNOT like Baby Park because the whole level is one giant fucking blue shell. Bullet Bills, Blue Shells, Red Shells, and all of them all combine to form the most annoying level known to Mario Kart. Are you really good at racing? Powersliding? Anything like that? Well, you might as well forget leading the pack on Baby Park, then, because the winner is always completely random. It really is whoever gets the star on the last lap, or the Blue Shell two laps before the end.

And the worst thing about Mario Kart DS is the fact they included this bullshit level.

Anyway, to sum up: Mario Kart Double Dash is an okay game, but the lack of R hopping and fucking Baby Park are two abortions of ideas that I hope Nintendo never revisits again.

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