Sonic the Hedgehog: Part 1

I decided since I haven't gotten my goddamn Kirby 2 yet that I'd play another game I've had for a while. I'm going to be playing through the four main Genesis Sonic games (Sonic 1, 2, 3, and Knuckles) and writing about them here.

Sonic the Hedgehog caused me to forgo getting a SNES when I was a kid. I wanted his games, because he was really fast and cool, and Mario seemed fat and slow in comparison (since then, I've realized that the Mario games are really the better games, and they are just as fun to try to run through as fast as Mario's fat ass can). I sold my NES and all my games and got myself a Genesis.

And holy shit was the difference amazing. I went from basic 8-bit, limited palette NES games to the lush, awesome looking world of 16 bits, with Sonic blazing by. The trees, man - they looked 3-D! At least in the first level, anyway.

Green Hill Zone is a pretty good set of levels. I may as well say now that Sonic 1 is the only game in the four games I'll be playing that have 3 levels in each zone - something I missed in all the others. Anyway, Green Hill Zone fits the description of what I would call a good Sonic level - it is fast, there are few breakups in the speed, and there are rings aplenty. Obviously, being the first level makes it easy as hell, but that's OK.

The level design takes a bit of a dive in the second area, Marble Zone, though. The level begins pretty good, you are running fast and jumping over small pools of lava, thinking to yourself that you're on board so far, and then, all of a sudden, WHAM. You hit a wall. And you have to descend into this annoying, slow-paced crawl through this goofy dungeon that looks somewhat like a lava-filled slaughterhouse. Sounds cool? It certainly does, but it doesn't belong in a Sonic game. What the fuck the designers were thinking here, I don't know. It's like they decided to make a really fast paced game, but figured that the game should be more like Mario, who was obviously who Sonic was designed to compete against. Only it's not fun. In fact, it sucks, especially after the fast paced first zone. Although the fourth zone is the worst, but we'll get to that later. This is also the first level you are introduced to the exploding robotic worms, who, once exploded, bounce all over the fucking place and will CHASE YOU ACROSS PLATFORMS until they go off screen. Say goodbye to your rings.

The third zone, Spring Yard Zone, begins what I believe to be a "tradition" in the first three Sonic Genesis games: a casino level (Sonic and Knuckles doesn't have one). This zone gets back to what I believe to be a good Sonic zone - fast paced and fun. That is, except for the annoying elevator parts. You have to jump between these stupid, slow moving elevators to get through the levels, and they take for fucking ever to move. I also noticed there are a series of odd words in the background - "UP ON CPU" in some areas. I don't know what this actually means, but I would think it'd be pretty cool if it was a jab at Nintendo, with Sega having released the Genesis while the NES was still Nintendo's main console.

And then, theres Labyrinth Zone. There are some bad levels in the first four Sonic games, but this zone is the absolute worst. Take everything you know and love about Sonic games and just flush it down the shitter when you get here. You have to go underwater, where Sonic becomes slow as hell (even Mario's fat ass moves faster underwater in HIS games!) and get this - you can even drown. In the NES and SNES Mario games, Mario couldn't drown. Sonic can fucking drown. And he continues to drown throughout all four Genesis games. I'm no game designer, but that's fucking stupid. "Let's make a game all about speed; then, more than halfway through the game, let's include a level explicitly designed to cause players to move through it exceptionally slowly - but if they don't move fast enough, they will FUCKING DIE! ...Unless they reach some bubbles. But let's not make the bubbles just be there when you reach them - no fucking way. Let's make the players wait, sometimes awhile while watching a fucking countdown to their DEATH, before a bubble comes." And they put in these gargoyle heads that shoot out deadly red spit bullets at random goddamn intervals - sometimes a split second after one another! Jesus, give me more of that! And the boss for this zone is a good idea, but because of all the things I just listed about this zone, he sucks. Also, if you die on the boss, you have to fight him with no rings, no air bubbles (if the water catches up to you) and have to dodge spears and gargoyle spit! Fuck Labyrinth Zone to the depths of hell.

After that miserable pile of shit zone, you get Star Light Zone, which in my opinion is the best zone in the game. Sonic gets his speed back here, and there's loops and spins and all that good shit. It's funny, I have very few complaints about this zone - it's really well done and is pretty much exactly how a Sonic level should be. Even the boss is pretty fun - you have to shoot either Sonic or these little spiky balls up at Robotnik by flinging them with see-saws. Pretty good shit.

Then there is the last zone, Scrap Brain Zone. It's a tough level, and I've lost many lives here whenever I play through Sonic 1, but I stand by the design. You can get lost, and you can get killed pretty easy, but if you know what you're doing, you'll be fine. The third act is pretty short because of a cool shortcut - if you miss it, it's more delicious Labyrinth Zone shit for you. Hell, even if you make it, you have some Labyrinth Zone shit.

Then there's the final boss, and it is here that the tradition is born where you don't get any fucking rings to fight him with. He shoots electricity at you when he is offscreen, then when he tries to crush you, you can dodge him then hit him as well. It can be tough, but once you beat him, you complete the game. Sonic is running back through Green Hill Zone (which now has purple flowers rather than yellow and green, for some reason) with some animal buddies, and you get a short screen if you either did get all the chaos emeralds or didn't (Robotnik is holding the remaining ones and laughing at you if you didn't).

Sonic the Hedgehog is a great game. There are swings and misses, but overall it is a fun playthrough. It's too bad you don't get to use the Spin Dash in this game, but oh well - it would be weird here anyway. (Although I hear that in the GBA remake, they put in spin dashing - too bad that version was ported so shitty.)

Stay tuned for a Sonic the Hedgehog 2 post.